1. “And if the tigers fail to stay away from the children they will be in contempt of court”- Callahan

2. (talking about getting a Visa for a client) “I think my mom had to get me visas for Brazil and CostaRica”-me “What were you doing there?-Joe “Working in orphanages for a month, 2 summers in a row”-me “Lexie have you ever done anything remotely near bad in your entire life?”-Joe

3. “I will be the fun police and make sure you and Joe don’t work too too hard and take time for a little fun.”-Julie “We run from the fun police.”-me

4. ”Georgie!! Did you miss me today?!?”-me “It was … Quiet without you”-George

5. ”No wasn’t that case nol-prossed?”-me “Well one of his was but he has two”-Joe “Okay good so I am not crazy”-me “Well…. I am not saying that…”-Joe

6. “Like I don’t know what they do, they sleep until like 11:00am.”-me “They’re in college thats what kids do they stay up late and party and then they sleep..”-Shannon “Well why??”-me

7. (Radio comes on with something about a crisis relief worker) “I do not think that is the profession for you.”-Joe “Ha no I would laugh at the people.”-me “COMPASSION Lexie, compassion.”-Joe

8. “This is lexie, she works with my husband and spends more time with him then I do”-Julie to her friend

9. “But its not perfect :( “-me “Balance baby.”-Joe “What will they think when they see that on my grad school application?”-me “They will think oh she’s kind of normal”-Joe “Are you calling me not normal?”-me “There is NOTHING normal about you.”-Joe

10. You look really tired. -Joe “You did not just call me a wuss”-me “What?? I didnt call you a wuss, I said “you look tired” everyone gets tired, you’re a human”-Joe ”Wuss, tired, its the same thing!! Oh and also, telling a woman she looks tired is a polite way of saying you don’t look very pretty today!”-me